You Down Wit O.P.P.B?

I didnt want a mundane life. I haven't had a mundane one either, but, I could have. If I were just a little more impressionable, a bit more gullible, if I werent as strong willed, confident, stubborn, I would so far have led an existence full of routine, less than lofty aspirations and lowered expectations. If I had taken lead from people like my father who always pissed on my dreams as too difficult to acheive, or some other lame critique that comes from personal self doubt, or similar feelings of failure, I would never have followed my dreams. Sure my dreams were as sensational as anyones. I was young, strong, reasonably good looking, very intelligent, I excelled in anything I put my mind to, be it academics, sports, arts, well, I can't really draw to save my life, I would NEVER choose me for a pictionary partner! I think I'm that bad, yes I do! But I can write. I can write commentary, poetry, fiction, you name it. I can play guitar. I have gotten to the point where after 25 or so years of self taught exploration on guitar, I can stop disagreeing with those who have heaped much praise on my playing. Yeah I can fkn shread. No doubt. I played baseball and softball for years. I was very good. I have an extremely analytical mind, very attentive to detail, tactical and strategic. I dominate in online multi-player first person shooter combat simulators. I out-think my opponents much more often than not. I used to get accused of cheating quite often before the effective anti-cheat programs came out. I have never been caught or banned for cheating, hacking, running scripts in any game in any server, simply because I never have. I am extraordinarily adept with my hands and make a living as a handyman-carpenter-Mr.FixIt-Jack of All Trades. Love to take things apart to find out how they fit together and thereby how they "work". The operative word in that sentence was THINGS. That means EVERYTHING. Thats how my mind works, I think about things in a way that envelops the subject. I have this ability to draw myself back from the subject to see it from outside the box so to speak. To see how the subject, whatever, whoever, that might be, does its thing and how it relates/inter-relates to its' environment. Yes it is a trip to see the minute details, and see them for what they are in the BIG PICTURE, and to realize how the seemingly insignificant minute details actually comprise the big picture. Most people that I know see either one or the other. Most people it seems can only see or focus on one or the other, I see it all at one time. And its difficult to explain what I see to others. Its quite similar to showing someone a black and white drawing and trying to explain color with it. Its like having a two-dimensional object and trying to show someone how to "see" the third dimension. Its also quite like trying to show people a beach, but they can only see a few grains of sand at a time. And/or quite ironically, the reverse. Some cannot see the beach for the sand and some cannot see the sand because the beach is in the damn way! That is why I use analogies, parallels and parables to explain to people different ways of seeing/looking at subjects. For example a friend of mine came over and while we were hanging out, he asked if he could change the TV channel to CNN or FauxNews. I said "Sure, go ahead," I figured I was going to have a chance to show him something about the "News" channels he never realized before. So, there he is watching one of the true few political extremeists in our society Bill I'm a lying, sexually harrassing, racist, ultra-conservative, neo-con fascist O'Reilly, and some commentary is being done on him and the other FauxNews jackasses Hannity and Combes. My buddy is sitting there with a shit-eating grin on his mug, and I'm like feeling sorry for him that he is so sucked into the bullshit. I ask him if he gets and real news or information from his "shows" and I referred to them as that. He gives a non-intelligible response. I ask him if he really does not see the back and forth banter for what it really is...Well to me it is obvious that he doesn't and he is not too interested...That attitude only spurs me on, so I tell him
to look and see the roles being played out on Hannity and Combes, finally he askes what do I mean. I said well lets watch this upcomming segment, Hannity is asking a "guest" a question, guest begins to answer, after a couple of sentences Hannity decides he doesn't agree with the guest, so he cuts him off with a cynical or sarcastic, but decidedly antagonistic follow-up querry, only to almost immediately cut the "guest" off again with his personal critique. Combes almost tries to help the "guest" explain his comments, but again Hannity goes on the aggressive and shuts down anyone that doesn't agree with him. So I look at my friend and I say to him, "How about Good Cop Bad Cop?" I told him to really analyze Hannity's interviewing tactics, there is no technique. It's all verbal strongarm. Then I pointed out that for the past 30 mins or so, we were watching a "news" station, but all we had gotten so far was personal opinions from Hannity and O'Reilly. And they were controversial opinions at that. Throwing moot opints with no substance behind them back and forth under the guises of Right and Wrong, Liberal vs Conservative, Dem vs Rep...I got a little fed up with my friends lack of ability to draw himself from the dance of dialogue happening on the screen. I softly shouted, "Dont you get it? It's fucking WWE for pseudo-intellectuals. Here you are laughing and smiling telling me you hate these guys, but you tune in to be entertained by them?!?!? You love to hate them, just as I used to love to hate The Undertaker. There are no real differences between 'Libs' and 'Cons'. Those are political extremes, labels thrown out so people will feel some connection with one side or the other, and thus polarize to one side or the other. Regular people in our society all essentially want the same things, I dont see the extremeism in either opening or closing our borders, having or not having National Healthcare, gasoline at $4.00/gal, or any of the so called real issues in The US. They are real concerns, but those are moderate concerns. Look to the real stuff going on in other countries today, and you will easily recognize true Extremeism at work. What we have here is a well oiled, finely tuned propaganda machine feeding us all bullcrap little by little all of the time. The more you are exposed to it and lend it credibility, the more you doubt your own ability to discren the truth behind the lies. The more you listen with distrust and scrutiny, the better you will be able to distinguish fact from fiction. The average Citizen will need to be well versed in Double-Speak in order to find the truth within the contradictions used in the terms. Yes, Double-Speak strategically uses contradictory words and terms to seemingly alter the meaning of phrases or passages, but dont fall for it. Horrifyingly, I heard Justice Scalia use two examples of Double-Speak very recently. Once while he gave his Opinion on the Supreme Court case about evidence seized during a search that vioated Virginia State Law. And then again during the 60 Minutes interviews with Baba Wawa.

Back to the original flow...I forget where, but I learned some very important things about the process of achievement and accomplishment. I learned about effort, hard work, determination, focus, dedication, commitment, re-commitment...I also learned independence. I learned to trust in myself, and my hunches. I learned what repetition is, and how it helps develop form. I learned that practice makes perfect, with the proper guidance. For whatever reason I didn't get that proper guidance from my father. He was mostly unavailable, occupationally, emotionally. I was independent, for a kid at least, and pretty determined. Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention. I am very, very competitive, I hate to lose. Well, Im better with it nowadays, but...So I got better at the things I did with lots of practice, observation, analysis, research, and asking questions and for help when needed. At a great number of things I became pretty damn good. By the age of twelve I was the one in the family who assembled products that came boxed and in pieces. Bicycles, tables, toys...The thing is, I became quite capable and skilled, and it was mostly my own determination that took me there. Sure my Mother was suppoortive, paid for Little League and drove me around when I needed it, but as soon as I was able, like 11 or 12, I was going to LL Practice and games on my bike. And I was always at the ball park playing pick-up games all spring and the summer months that we didnt go away camping or something.

At times I do indeed look back and think that I might have had more of an advantage if I had some instruction from my father in sports and things past 6 or 7 years old. Maybe he did't know how to impart knowledge, or was simply too busy to find 30 minutes on a weekend to go to the park to hit some balls. The most we ever did after I was like 6 was go into the street in front of our home in Long Island and play catch. The school yard was two and a half blocks away, but we never went there. I went there all the damn time...No matter. I dont hold resentments about all of that. It was what it was and it is why I am dedicated to giving my Son all of the help, coaching and training he wants. I can find the time. My son has his dream, his goal of one day playing in the Big Laegues. Right now he is 8 years old. This is his 4th year in Little League, he has consistently been one of the 3 best players on his team. He is generally younger then his teammates historically, as that his birthday is in mid July, and he just barely makes age restrictions and/or age cut-off dates, or he gets exceptions. Even so he is much better all around as a player than a lot of players two and three years his senior. I am an not an optimist, I am not a pessimist, I think I am a practical realist. But I strongly believe in POSSIBILITY. And I know how truly important a good healthy attitude is. Bad unhealthy attitudes are not conducive to success. Neither is a lackadasical attitude. Nor is a defeatist attitude.

My Son and I have a personal agreement. I will help him to be the best baseball player that I can. I know I cannot make him the best he can be, thats up to him. I can only provide the information, equipment, and disciplines to help him be all that he strives for. All I demand in exchange is that he keep his mind open to suggestions and remain coachable, and give 100% effort all of the time. There may be 10,000,000 kids in my Son's generation that have played baseball and fantasized about one day becoming a Big Leaguer and pitching that game winning strikeout, or hitting that World Series clinching HomeRun, the fact is, only 750 people on the planet can be called a Major League Baseball Player. It's not an impossible goal, but it is daunting. I feel the secret is to have focus and give %100 effort to fulfill your dreams. Begin in earnest as early as possible and seek qualified instructors. I tell my kid, if you want to learn to be a better baseball player, dont look to learn from some guy whose own kid isn't that good. If that guy was worth a crap as a baseball coach or instructor, then his kid would be a better player. As I said I demand %100 percent at practice from my kid. Why should I be out there giving more of an effort to help him become better than he is willing to put in? Why should I have to repeat myself over and over again because he is easily distracted? Why should I continue to get frustrated because he wont impliment the changes I suggest to him to improve his technique? Other than the commitment I made to both my Son and to myself, that I wont quit on him and I won't fail him. I wont sabotage him either. I let him know how great the odds are against him making it to the Majors, but I also tell him that there is nothing stopping him from beating those odds. He has as least as good a chance as any other 8 year old, except for maybe the current and former Major Leaguers prodginy.

So happens an episode where my kid is needing an attitude adjustment at team practice one day recently. I am a direct and forcefully speaking person, and I didn't feel like dealing with an 8 year olds attitude that day, so I quickly put him in check. But his attitude didn't change much very quickly. So I let him have it straight with questions designed for him to do some self searching. Why cant you follow my simple directions? Why should I be here working harder than you do? Don't you want to improve or is getting instruction from your Dad in front of your teammates more of a concern to you? Dont you trust me? Have I gaven you any bad instruction yet? Then why dont you employ the changes? The other coaches have no clue about how we are aside from games and practices. I never ride him with instruction in games, thats what practice is for. He knows whats he is supposed to do, and if he makes a mistake I only ask him if he knows where the mistake was made, or where the breakdown occurred, and if he will be more aware the next time that situation arises. So the only time any of the other dad's or coaxhes have seen me ride my kid is in pratice where my Son and I agreed if he isn't giving his all, I'm gonna call him on it. And it certainly doesnt happen everytime we practice. So imagiung my surprise when I show up to a game last night, Wednesday May 1, 2008, and the head coach and one of the other dad-coaches ambushed me with a "May we have a word with you?" They expressed their unfounded concern with the way I was hard on my Son. They expressed understanding with my passion for both the game and for my son, but suggested that maybe I was being too intense with my kid. They said that they didn't know how it affected the other kids, because, none had any complaints about me or my way with my boy, even though one of the two self appointed oversee-ers of my personal business has a kid on the team, of which I too am a Coach. I listened to them and their banter. I responded with, "First of all, what you guys are talking to me about, is completely and utterly none of your goddamned business. How I relate to and with my Son, is my and my Son's business, not yours." They mentioned something about keeping the games fun for my Son, and I pointed out to the Lady-like meddling busy-bodies, that it never happens during games. Only during pratice, and that I don't talk to other people kids as I do my own. My Son understands where I am coming from, and what my intentions are, we have discussions regularly. Just because something happens that you witness or you were within earshot for, and that something made you concerned for some reason...That doesn't make it any of your business. I was really upset that these two jackasses took it upon themselves to discuss my personal family business amongst themselves then come to confront me together. Cowards. Bitches. I'm sorry, but thats what I think of them now. Whatever respect I had for either of them is gone and if anyone else was involved in those talks they better hope I don't get informed about it. That they were discussing my personal business is only obvious, that they felt that they needed to show some united front and agreement between themselves to approach me shows me their cowardice. A real Man if our teams head coach were a Real Man would have talked to me in private, one on one, Man to Man, and I would have gladly, non-defenseively explained the entire situation, and thus would have allayed all of his fears. There is no abuse, I'n not calling him names, or undermining his self worth. I dont hit him, or beat him. I don't deprive me Son of anything. Nor do I live vicariously through him. I dont throw or catch the ball, I dont swing the bat. I don't receive any trophy's. The only credit I need is the satisfaction of knowing that I took the time when it was neccessary, to teach my kid what he needed to know in order to have the best shot at reaching his goals.

I was even more upset that while I was explaining the arrangement between my Son and me, the head coach made a rather cynical statement about us all knowing the odds of my son making all the way to the Major Leagues. A few minutes later, when I was calm enough to talk with an even voice, I expressed to him that his comment thoroughly disgusted me. I told him that I was well aware of the odds against making it to the Biggies, and I also said that I didnt appreciate my son being coached by someone with a defeatist attitude. I told him that what he was saying to me was in essence, 'It's really difficult to make it, so why try at all.' Sounded like my idiot asshole father who I have to only guess was too damn afraid to work hard for something that might not turn out how he wanted it to, so he just didn't try out of fear of failure. I dont subscribe to that train of thought. There is no possibility it that way of thinking. Without possibility, there is nothing left but impossiblity, and with only impossibility, there is no chance of success. And this is the stupid assed shit I continue to have to deal with. People who think they are intelligent but have no clue as to how to think critically, people who for some unexplained reason think they can run your life better than you do, but of course they know nothing to very little about you in the first place. People who are generally small-minded and uninformed, yet they seem to believe the ridiculous conclusions that they misguidedly jump to. And some people wonder why I choose to have olny a small handfull of close friends and tend to isolate. Because I really dont want to have to deal with the vast majority of people out there. Wayy too many (insert degrading expletive representing the multitude of clueless jackasses blindly roaming this pathetic plane of existence). If you do not fall into that catergory, then I am sure that you get what I am trying to say.

Oh yeah I almost forgot, OPPB stands for Other People's Personal Business if you hadn't already figured that out...

Thanx for reading...